Susan Powter: Stop! The insanity is online.

Susan Powter has a website full of the inexplicable ramblings of a woman with bicep-loads of misplaced confidence garnered from years of people telling her that the advice to "eat, breathe and move" changed their lives.

It's fabulous.

Her core advice is akin to wisdom dispensed by a mafioso laundering money through a gym in New Jersey.  "To loose da extra weight?  I think yous oughta eat, breed, and, uh...move.  Okay?  Have a nice day."

Here's one of Susan Powter's video diary entries.  Interspersed with her bon mots are many, many cuts to flowers and trees.  For extra fun, imagine that the foliage is saying things like "Are you okay, ma'am?" and "Leeet's get you up and walking, kiddo.  Come on, don't fall asleep on me."

Bad-min-ton is the game.

Here's Powter lobbying for a position with Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap:

Simply explained, totally understandable and it's true, and you get and you get and you get, extended by popular demand, the kind of demand I like, do it now, it's time!


Also, people write in asking for her advice, and she disgorges gems like this:

Q: Do you believe raw food is better than cooked b/c of the enzymes that are live? Do you believe that cooked foods are addicting?

A?:

I don't

And

Suggesting

Raw for

The epidemic

And it is

Of obesity

Facing millions

Is well

What it is...

Let's start

With movement

And

Whole more

Than processed

Then a little

Lean muscle

Mass and

Cardio endurance

And, now........

I had to put it to sleep.  Let's tell the children that Susan's answer has gone to live on a farm with other visionary writing.

Taken as a whole, the site has a soothing Ti-and-Do-meet-Intervention feeling about it.  Especially enjoy the coherent "Don't even talk to me re: nipples" post.

Susan Powter is ratbones crazy, and I applaud her efforts at documenting said crazy on her website.