Susan Powter has a website full of the inexplicable ramblings of a woman with bicep-loads of misplaced confidence garnered from years of people telling her that the advice to "eat, breathe and move" changed their lives.It's fabulous.
Her core advice is akin to wisdom dispensed by a mafioso laundering money through a gym in New Jersey. "To loose da extra weight? I think yous oughta eat, breed, and, uh...move. Okay? Have a nice day."
Here's one of Susan Powter's video diary entries. Interspersed with her bon mots are many, many cuts to flowers and trees. For extra fun, imagine that the foliage is saying things like "Are you okay, ma'am?" and "Leeet's get you up and walking, kiddo. Come on, don't fall asleep on me."
Bad-min-ton is the game.
Here's Powter lobbying for a position with Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap:
Simply explained, totally understandable and it's true, and you get and you get and you get, extended by popular demand, the kind of demand I like, do it now, it's time!
Also, people write in asking for her advice, and she disgorges gems like this:
Q: Do you believe raw food is better than cooked b/c of the enzymes that are live? Do you believe that cooked foods are addicting?A?:I don'tAndSuggestingRaw forThe epidemicAnd it isOf obesityFacing millionsIs wellWhat it is...Let's startWith movementAndWhole moreThan processedThen a littleLean muscleMass andCardio enduranceAnd, now........
I had to put it to sleep. Let's tell the children that Susan's answer has gone to live on a farm with other visionary writing.
Taken as a whole, the site has a soothing Ti-and-Do-meet-Intervention feeling about it. Especially enjoy the coherent "Don't even talk to me re: nipples" post.
Susan Powter is ratbones crazy, and I applaud her efforts at documenting said crazy on her website.
7 comments:
Wow.
Susan Powter is the Susan Cloud* of the New Millenium.
*from Fernwood 2 Night, for you youngsters.
Hey... she's definitely left of center... but then again so was the person who decided that there'd be little folks inside a very small box that would be the #1 entertainment vehicle of the centuries: TV
It's just too easy to find what is wrong instead of trying to find if she's doing ANYthing right.
R504
If Ms. Powter is onto something as revolutionary as a new communications medium, its genius eludes me.
I love her whole foods/back-to-basics message. However, it has become clouded by her increasingly unhinged personality, which she aggressively, proudly and publicly displays. Her video posts have nothing to do with her message of wellness. Kind of the opposite.
In this case, it is, in fact, easy to find what's wrong.
Is it just me, or is there an uncanny resemblance to the look and behaviors of Susan Powter and Chris Crocker (a la YouTube fame)?
She looks exactly like Crocker. But at least Crocker can be coherent.
Does anyone know the mathematical formula Susan uses to calculate fat?
After years without exercise, I decided to resume, now in my mid-50s and, while not overweight, definitely out of shape and starting from scratch. I reviewed my old videotapes gathering dust in the junkroom. Susan's definitely pass the test of time -- easy to follow, based on sound exercise physiology, well-paced, encouraging for the unfit. I looked for dvd versions (found none although her tapes can still be purchased new), and then checked out her website. Messages seem to be the same, but the burnout, circularity and repetition of tired catchphrases ("ohmigod", "I have nothing else to say") is striking. I bought a package of (presumably) updated dvds that (hopefully)will be delivered shortly; an extra bonus was a pair of "food workshops" emailed to me with passwords. These were essentially worthless - rambling, very little information and lots of rant. I'd advise Susan or her business associates to STOP sending them out, especially before the dvds are delivered ... I'm now nervous about their quality. If they're as disappointing as the "workshops", I'll chalk it up to a bad purchase decision on my part, and consider the $50 expense (plus $10 in s/h) a charitable contribution to Susan in appreciation of her past achievements. And I'll go back to her 1990's videos, which I still consider a gold standard.
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